Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
