i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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