Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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