just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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