Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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