What a fucking waste of an outfit
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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