it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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