I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
