she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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