so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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