My nipple is on Facebook.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
