All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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