I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
