just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
