hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize