I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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