it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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