he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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