I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
