If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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