I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
