Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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