im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize