stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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