There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
