I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you win again, gameday.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
