I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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