You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
