Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
