Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i now understand why vodka
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
