Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
