The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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