I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
