Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
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we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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