Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
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Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
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You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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