I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize