you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
