you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
