do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
foreskin is a definite game changer
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
