how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It was confusing and full of hummus
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My dick has a subreddit
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
