we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
