Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
