Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
