So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
