you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
