oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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