My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
