drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
