my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
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Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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