in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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