i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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