Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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