Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
