My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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