I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
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You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
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No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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