talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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