Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
